One-liners

[Martinr36]

 

[HomerJ]

[PEDANTIC MODE ON]
Frankenstein was the doctor who created "the monster". According to Mary Shelly, Dr Frankenstein was quite good looking.
[PEDANTIC MODE OFF}

yes, but it ruined the joke, 🤷‍♀️

 

[HomerJ]

 

[Martinr36]

Had an argument with my friend who is a bank manager, she works far too many hours. I said I'm going for a walk and when I get back I want you to leave me alone. I got back and found £5,000 on the table.

 

[ubuysa]

Had an argument with my friend who is a bank manager, she works far too many hours. I said I'm going for a walk and when I get back I want you to leave me alone. I got back and found £5,000 on the table.

A good citizen finding £5,000 would hand it in to the police. Did you?!

And yes, I did get it but my wife thought my groaning noises meant I was ill, so now I'm in the ER of the local hospital. Thanks a lot!

 

[Martinr36]

A good citizen finding £5,000 would hand it in to the police. Did you?!

No I'd donate to a worthwhile charity, either the NBF(New Bike Fund) or the NCF(New Computer fund)

 

[ubuysa]

Some years ago when we lived on the boat, a boat engineer friend, who worked on superyachts, always added 10% to his invoices under the heading DPF. Nobody ever queried it and everyone paid it. It stood for Dave's Pension Fund.

 

[Martinr36]

 

[HomerJ]

 

[ubuysa]

He always stands like that in photos, have you noticed? It's like he's about to catch an invisible basketball. Or perhaps they are just fake arms he glues on, just for photo calls? In reality he's an alien with flippers he keeps hidden under those jumpers....

 

[Tron1982]

 

[HomerJ]

In reality he's an alien with flippers he keeps hidden under those jumpers..

yet it wouldn't surprise me

 

[HomerJ]

 

[SpyderTracks]

 

[SpyderTracks]

 

[HomerJ]

 

[HomerJ]

 

[Martinr36]

 

[Tron1982]

 

[SpyderTracks]

View attachment 37449

I love Garfield!