Norad track him every year but still haven't caught him.
One-liners
- Thread starter AgentCooper
- Start date
Careful how you handell them.
A 63-year-old woman went to A&E, where a young, inexperienced doctor took care of her. After only about three minutes, the doctor told her that she was pregnant.
Shocked, she ran out of the room, screaming down the hallway. An older doctor saw her and asked what was wrong. After listening to her story, he comforted her and led her to another room to relax.
The older doctor then went to talk to the young doctor in his office. "What were you thinking?" he asked firmly. "This woman is 63, has two grown children, and several grandchildren. How could you tell her she’s pregnant?"
The young doctor, still focused on his clipboard, replied without looking up, "Does she still have the hiccups?"
Shocked, she ran out of the room, screaming down the hallway. An older doctor saw her and asked what was wrong. After listening to her story, he comforted her and led her to another room to relax.
The older doctor then went to talk to the young doctor in his office. "What were you thinking?" he asked firmly. "This woman is 63, has two grown children, and several grandchildren. How could you tell her she’s pregnant?"
The young doctor, still focused on his clipboard, replied without looking up, "Does she still have the hiccups?"
TonyCarter
VALUED CONTRIBUTOR
Anyone need some additional Christmas lights for their computer room?
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ubuysa
The BSOD Doctor
I like this, but even a neon sign is way too festive for me...
TonyCarter
VALUED CONTRIBUTOR
SpyderTracks
We love you Ukraine
TonyCarter
VALUED CONTRIBUTOR
Mee too, I thought it said "deep painful bum party"!
TonyCarter
VALUED CONTRIBUTOR
This quite apt as I spent a couple of hours yesterday saying goodbye to colleagues that I've known on and off forever 20 years at my last client (different parts of the business every couple of years).
Got told last minute that there wasn't any budget for 2025 for me, and was asked to handover what I do to others on the team.
As I only got 2 volunteers, and both of them turned white when I showed them the first item of 12, I realised it just wasn't going to happen and would have to leave copious notes for them.
12 documents, and about a week later I'm leaving and they ask me how much of it I had automated...I told them that 100% of it was run by an AI called 'Tony' and their subscription had expired, then signed off with an animated party background on my MS Teams call.
They seemed confused that I was happy NOT to be coming back next year
TonyCarter
VALUED CONTRIBUTOR
Can you imagine an Easyjet or Ryanair turkey
Legs extra, stuffing extra, giblets extra, feather-removal extra, anything over 2.5KG is £50 extra.
ubuysa
The BSOD Doctor
I had something similar many decades ago. I was contracted to setup a new security system on an IBM mainframe for a large well-known organisation (currently being sold to a Czech billionaire) in Chesterfield. I pointed out to the head honchos in the preliminary meeting that the security organisation they had planned was unmanageable. As people changed roles and departments, and even as new people joined, the work involved to modify the security profiles would be huge - and wide open to mistakes. I spent the next two weeks, before the project started, designing a workable and manageable organisation that would be easier and safer to manage. They wouldn't even look at it. They wanted what they wanted.This quite apt as I spent a couple of hours yesterday saying goodbye to colleagues that I've known on and off forever 20 years at my last client (different parts of the business every couple of years).
Got told last minute that there wasn't any budget for 2025 for me, and was asked to handover what I do to others on the team.
As I only got 2 volunteers, and both of them turned white when I showed them the first item of 12, I realised it just wasn't going to happen and would have to leave copious notes for them.
12 documents, and about a week later I'm leaving and they ask me how much of it I had automated...I told them that 100% of it was run by an AI called 'Tony' and their subscription had expired, then signed off with an animated party background on my MS Teams call.
They seemed confused that I was happy NOT to be coming back next year
I was sorely tempted to walk away, but they paid well and the reputational damage would have been huge, so I did it. I'll never forget the joy I felt on the last day as I left behind this bewildered and panicked security team who now had to somehow manage this hopelessly complex system. I made sure I got paid fast too, long before the head honchos realised what a mistake they'd made!
TonyCarter
VALUED CONTRIBUTOR
I'm normally the person on the project running through test cases and trying to compile user guides for each user type as they're changing the systemI had something similar many decades ago. I was contracted to setup a new security system on an IBM mainframe for a large well-known organisation (currently being sold to a Czech billionaire) in Chesterfield. I pointed out to the head honchos in the preliminary meeting that the security organisation they had planned was unmanageable. As people changed roles and departments, and even as new people joined, the work involved to modify the security profiles would be huge - and wide open to mistakes. I spent the next two weeks, before the project started, designing a workable and manageable organisation that would be easier and safer to manage. They wouldn't even look at it. They wanted what they wanted.
I was sorely tempted to walk away, but they paid well and the reputational damage would have been huge, so I did it. I'll never forget the joy I felt on the last day as I left behind this bewildered and panicked security team who now had to somehow manage this hopelessly complex system. I made sure I got paid fast too, long before the head honchos realised what a mistake they'd made!