One-liners

[HomerJ]

 

[HomerJ]

 

[Salmon Fisher]

Where do bad rainbows go?
Prism. It's a light sentence and gives them time to reflect.

 

[HomerJ]

 

[Tron1982]

 

[AgentCooper]

This joke was on the packaging of my lad’s yoghurt pot this morning:

What do you call a gorilla with headphones?

Anything you want, he can’t hear you.

 

[Martinr36]

I saw a sign on a van yesterday that I thought was great:

"No Jaffa cakes kept in this van overnight"

 

[HomerJ]

 

[HomerJ]

 

[HomerJ]

 

[AgentCooper]

*Air horn sound*

*Another air horn sound*

Me: This isn’t deodorant.

 

[Martinr36]

 

[HomerJ]

 

[SpyderTracks]

View attachment 38196

Those and after eights which showed that you were a multi millionaire just for a night

 

[AgentCooper]

Those and after eights which showed that you were a multi millionaire just for a night

But if you ate one at 7.59pm the fabric of space and time would collapse in on itself. That’s probably why they had their own individual envelopes, it’d be like a scene from Interstellar if they touched.

 

[HomerJ]

But if you ate one at 7.59pm the fabric of space and time would collapse in on itself. That’s probably why they had their own individual envelopes, it’d be like a scene from Interstellar if they touched.

in fairness the box doesnt specify if its am or pm that after eights are meant to be consumed

not like ive checked or anything and this is certainly not me at 8.05am

 

[ubuysa]

 

[Martinr36]

 

[Martinr36]

A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.

Meanwhile, those waiting for the shipment were at a loss for words.

 

[davhun]

A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.

Meanwhile, those waiting for the shipment were at a loss for words.

View attachment 38241

Did they book the driver?