One-liners

D

Deleted member 41971

Guest
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ubuysa

ubuysa

The BSOD Doctor
I saw these on a news website today, they are apparently jokes that only smart people can understand. I don't get them of course, perhaps you might? ;)

Heard about that new band called 1023 MB? They haven't had any gigs yet.

Heisenberg was speeding down the highway. A cop pulls him over and says, "Do you have any idea how fast you were going back there?" Heisenberg says, "No, but I knew where I was."

A photon is going through airport security. The TSA agent asks if he has any luggage. The photon says, "No, I'm travelling light."

A linguistics professor says during a lecture that, "In English, a double negative forms a positive. But in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, in no language in the world can a double positive form a negative." But then a voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus. "You mean martini?" the bartender asks. The Roman replies, "Slow down there! I'll let you know when I want more."

What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do at night? He stays up wondering if there really is a dog.

And my favourite.....

A logician's wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad. The wife says, "Is it a boy or a girl?" The logician says, "Yes."
 
Scott

Scott

Behold The Ford Mondeo
Moderator
The last one is a beauty :LOL:

I remembered Heisenberg was to do with predicted states but had to google to properly get the joke :D
 
B

Bigfoot

Grand Master
ubuysa said:
I saw these on a news website today, they are apparently jokes that only smart people can understand. I don't get them of course, perhaps you might? ;)

Heard about that new band called 1023 MB? They haven't had any gigs yet.

Heisenberg was speeding down the highway. A cop pulls him over and says, "Do you have any idea how fast you were going back there?" Heisenberg says, "No, but I knew where I was."

A photon is going through airport security. The TSA agent asks if he has any luggage. The photon says, "No, I'm travelling light."

A linguistics professor says during a lecture that, "In English, a double negative forms a positive. But in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, in no language in the world can a double positive form a negative." But then a voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus. "You mean martini?" the bartender asks. The Roman replies, "Slow down there! I'll let you know when I want more."

What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do at night? He stays up wondering if there really is a dog.

And my favourite.....

A logician's wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad. The wife says, "Is it a boy or a girl?" The logician says, "Yes."
Click to expand...
Most of those I like, but I am uncertain about the Heisenberg joke. On Breaking it down, it’s Bad.
 
ubuysa

ubuysa

The BSOD Doctor
I don't approve of political jokes...I've seen too many of them get elected.
 
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